You marry at the level of your self-esteem. – Mary Osmond

It’s not uncommon for single women to be told that they need to lower their expectations or standards to meet an eligible man. Women are told to be more realistic. However, I have often found that the greatest danger is that many women are willing to settle for much less than they deserve.

A friend of mine recently told me that she once had a long list of what she expected from a man, but now she had decided that a suitable man would only need to have two qualifications. He would have to be employed and breathe. We laughed a lot, but it was actually a bit depressing to hear this from my beautiful and accomplished friend.

In her book “Women and Money,” financial guru Suze Orman passionately tells women, “Don’t put yourself up for sale.”

He is talking about women who “put themselves up for sale” in their professional or financial lives. However, how could you do this in relationships?

Here are some examples:

* Not placing a high enough value on yourself.

* Do not have strong limits on what is and is not acceptable.

* Do not express their true feelings.

* Do not ask for what you want and need.

* Not being able to receive compliments, attention or gifts from others.

* Being too focused on meeting the needs of others.

* Allowing someone to speak to you in a hurtful or disrespectful manner.

* Discount your own needs or feelings.

* Not letting someone know when they hurt you.

*Hide your preferences.

* Not making time to feed.

* Sacrifice what you really want or need.

* Settling for less than you deserve.

* Thinking that a suboptimal relationship is the best you can hope for.

* Leave everything to be available for a man.

* Being the pursuer or doing all the work in a relationship.

* Staying in a relationship that leaves you feeling drained, insecure, or frequently disappointed.

* Feeling that you are struggling to justify or explain your partner’s actions to convince yourself to stay in a relationship.

* Not knowing when to walk away from a suboptimal or painful relationship.

* Not believing that you deserve to be loved and appreciated by someone wonderful.

Now, I realize that commitment and giving is also part of any relationship. However, many women are willing to give to the point where it can actually be detrimental to them and deplete them of their natural feminine attributes.

It is important in a relationship with a man for a woman to be in a receptive place a good deal of the time. Men like to please women they care about and adore women who can enjoy and appreciate their “gifts.”