Sometimes I hear from women who are engaged and have discovered that their fiancé has cheated on them. Sometimes this happens at the bachelor party and other times, it happens randomly, but while the engagement is active.

Understandably, many of these women consider breaking off the engagement and not continuing with the marriage. After all, if he cheats on you while you’re engaged, won’t he cheat on you once you’re married? Isn’t “once a cheat always a cheat” almost always true? Shouldn’t you go out while the get is good? Why would you go through with a marriage with a man who is cheating on you before there is actually some stress factor in the marriage?

Someone might say, “I was ready to get married and then I got an instant message on Facebook from my fiancé’s ex-girlfriend saying that her conscience was telling her to admit that my husband-to-be has been coming over to her house and sleeping with her for the last two years.” months. She said it started when he basically contacted her to tell her he was engaged and, in a sense, close and say goodbye. They met for dinner and one thing led to another. She admits that he broke up a few weeks ago. She admits that he told her that he was very guilty for what they had done and that he was committed to me and that he would never be able to see her again. So I’m not sure what his motivation was in coming forward now. But I’m kind of glad he did done because that’s something I needed to know. Of course, I confronted my fiancé about this. And he admitted it, but he’s been following me around crying about how he can’t lose me. Before he called his ex. My pr Her only inclination was to end the engagement and never see him again. And this is what I told him I was going to do. I wasn’t trying to scare him. He was being totally sincere. That was my plan. But then I went a few weeks without him and he called me and recruited all our mutual friends to help him. That’s when I started to change my mind ever so slightly and opened my mind to the idea of ​​just postponing the engagement. But many of my friends tell me that I am crazy. They say that if a man cheats on you during your engagement, he will definitely cheat on you during your marriage. They are right?”

I don’t know anyone who can successfully predict the future. However, infidelity before marriage is not the best sign. That said, I suspect that healing from this infidelity is going to be the same as if you were actually married. After all, when you’re committed, the commitment is still there. Sure, it’s not as big of a commitment as being married, but it’s very serious.

To have confidence that this will not happen again, you will have to work hard to find out why it happened, find a way to prevent it from happening again, and restore trust and goodwill. Your fiancé needs to be willing to take an honest look at his motivations and behaviors. What made him approach the other woman in the first place? Once they crossed the line once, why did she come back again? Was she going to confess or would you never have found out if the other woman hadn’t told you?

All of these questions need to be answered and then the work really begins. I highly recommend getting advice. That may seem overwhelming or not very fun. But it’s much better to go ahead and do it than to live with a troubled marriage. At a minimum, good self-help is needed. Very few people have the skills to see the issues necessary to heal the relationship on their own. Most people just can’t be objective enough or see their relationship the way it should be seen.

But to answer the original question. Cheating once doesn’t always mean cheating again. However, it is a warning sign. And you have enough knowledge of this warning sign that it may be wise to make sure you do all the necessary work until you feel completely comfortable going ahead with the wedding. There’s no point getting into something you know could be a problem in the future when you have the time and foresight to avoid it, and work until you feel completely comfortable going forward with the wedding.