To position yourself for a good sandbox game, you can’t retreat to your corner and turn your back on challenges that make you want to do exactly that: turn your back.

You must face the circumstance.

Walking away is not a sign of weakness, in fact, building a “golden bridge” for someone to reframe your walking away from a hard stance to be open to their ideas is a technique to help you keep moving towards a better solution. .

For example, you can ask for their opinions or ideas, give them options to choose from, or let them know that you are willing to continue to find solutions together.

Take advantage of their input with your ideas.

This strategy could help them take ownership of the settlement process and save face with their colleagues and counterparties.

One thing I learned from the Harvard Negotiation and Leadership Program is that when it comes to tough negotiations, people often want to “save face” with their colleagues and counterparts. Although it is important to save face and look good to yourself and others, it is especially difficult when the parties to the relationship or negotiation have taken a hard line.

Another example is my friend Bernie from the Ford dealership down the road where I live. He mailed a card to a customer who, after shopping around, decided not to buy his car from Bernie. The card had a gold bridge on the front and the inscription encouraged the gentleman to consider the Ford dealership if he ever needed another car. The man came the following week and bought his wife a car, saying he thought Bernie would have been mad at him for shopping elsewhere, but the card proved otherwise.

There is always a win-win solution when you are looking for the highest and best for all parties involved. If you can’t find your way, give me a call, because the high cost of conflict is avoidable and the proceeds can be used for better things.