When thinking about the subject of this article, my first thought, for some crazy and unknown reason, was the now infamous interview that Hall of Fame quarterback Joe Namath did with Suzy Kolber during an NFL game ago. several years.
Clearly drunk, or “in a cast,” Broadway Joe had begun the interview by commenting on New York Jets quarterback Chad Pennington’s performance.
But in response to Ms. Kolber’s follow-up question, he broke off with “I want to kiss you.” Oddly enough, Suzy handled the ruckus with aplomb…even seeming to enjoy it a bit.
Now, shortly after this crazy moment unfolded before millions on live television, Namath has made a solemn apology for his actions on ESPN. Of course.
Here’s the thing, though. The alcohol involved here probably only served to unleash his inhibitions about saying such a thing on national television, and at a particularly… um… inopportune time.
In reality, SAYING IT, however, was purely his nature.
Anyone familiar with Joe Namath’s style knew deep down that he was probably just being himself. After all, he’s been running this kind of “straight play” with women off-camera for over 45 years.
The guy has been known to have TONS of women around since LONG before he was the hero of Super Bowl III.
So what can you learn from a drunk football legend? And better yet, what can you learn from a sports reporter’s nonchalant handling of your overt flirtation?
Well obviously I am 100% with you in accepting that there are A LOT of things you can learn NOT to do.
BUT… there is also a VERY KEY principle at play which is a hidden pearl of wisdom. And that’s what I want to focus on.
Simply put, if flirting is BUILT INTO YOUR PERSONALITY as part of your LIFESTYLE, then women know not to assume that their potential “rejection” wields real power.
Consider that statement for a moment, because it’s pretty heavy.
Essentially, if your HABIT is to tease women and show attraction freely, then it’s hard for a woman to REALLY know for sure how significant your interest is at first, isn’t it?
And this keeps you in control of your interactions with women and acts as a very real buffer against having to deal with “rejection.”
But most men have made flirting an EXCEPTIONAL BEHAVIOR rather than a LIFESTYLE HABIT, and thus deplete themselves of male leadership power every time they interact with a woman.
Let me explain how this works against us and why it matters.
If you, like most men, tiptoe through life worried about “offending” women by showing any interest in them, then you’re essentially setting yourself up to be a walking self-fulfilling prophecy.
That is, if it’s UNUSUAL for you to show interest in a woman, every time you ACTUALLY DO IT, it’s going to be a pretty serious deal… for both you and the woman.
You will have had to gather yourself and your words, and put it all together for the “big moment.”
What does this? Naturally, it puts the woman in TOTAL CONTROL of the situation, and you are literally at her mercy.
She may be thinking, “Oh wow… This guy REALLY likes me. I have to think of a serious answer here.”
And indeed, that’s where you’ll have LEDs in this scenario. You hang around, waiting to see how he reacts to you.
Granted, it may or may not give you a favorable answer. But the fact remains the same: most men treat flirting VERY SERIOUSLY, and this puts women in the “harbor box” all the time.
Ironically, she is IN CHARGE, and that is NOT where she WANTS to be in these situations.
Compare such a scenario with the Broadway Joe example above. Even in the context of a big TV blunder in the making, you could tell from Suzy Kolber’s reaction that she was giving him a “free pass” of sorts.
Granted, she’s a pro when it comes to streaming, so she can think pretty fast.
But as the conversation unfolded, you could almost FEEL her imagining the line, “Yeah right, Joe. I bet you’ll say that to ALL THE GIRLS.” And I guess about 75% of the audience was thinking the exact same thing.
That’s right. Because in fact “he says that to all the girls”.
Now I am NOT going to tell you to “go do like Joe Namath” to the extent that you get drunk and say things on TV that require apologies later. And I’m not even going to suggest a “direct game” like walking up to random women and telling them you want to kiss them, necessarily.
In fact, for real-world purposes, think of “Lifestyle Flirting” more in terms of fun, playful banter.
But what I’m going to do is ask you to consider the amazing message that is conveyed when a woman utters the magic phrase, “I bet you say that to ALL THE GIRLS.”
Do you think for a second that Namath gives a rat tail section whether Suzy Kolber kisses him or not? Do you think he already has his girlfriend on his mind? married to her? Did you make babies with her?
That series of quick questions got more ridiculous as it went on, huh?
Simply put, if you can become a man who is COMFORTABLE with flirting as a LIFESTYLE, then rejection is OFF THE TABLE.
Instead of giving women unconditional power, their casual, even NOT SELECTIVE, attitude towards interaction with MOTOS (members of the opposite sex) puts YOU back in control.
As such, women are left mysteriously at a loss as to whether or not you would REALLY “select” her given the chance or not.
You are seen as a man who appreciates ALL great women, therefore exhibiting ZERO despair or fear of loss.
When you can see flirting, or even interacting with women of ANY kind, in that light, IT CHANGES EVERYTHING.
Instead of calling women out for flirting, if you can free yourself to joke around with MOST women wherever you go, you’ll hit “critical mass” before you know it.
And it’s wild when you start to see the effects of this “Flirting Lifestyle” manifesting.
Instead of women feeling EXCLUSIVE when you flirt with them, they’ll feel EXCLUSIVE when you DON’T.
That’s right… the women you flirt with will no longer be in the “hot seat.” On the other hand, the women you will NOT want to enter.
Again, a caveat: We’re not necessarily talking about as open-ended an approach as the Broadway Joe example. All you do here is just start conversations and interact in a fun way.
And I’m not an unreasonable guy. I can’t expect him to “flip a switch” and make this lifestyle change overnight.
But I am going to challenge you to go beyond your comfort zone the next time you are in a social situation where you have the ability to meet new women and feel FREE to interact with any or even all of them, now realizing that MORE women you enjoy interacting with, LESS you telegraph “prequalify” any of them.
Try it and be surprised.
And I guess you probably don’t want to stop there.