For some people on this earth, feeling safe is something that is a normal part of their life. This is not to say that someone like that will never feel insecure; what it means is that this is something that they will rarely experience.

However, even though they probably won’t think about the fact that they usually feel safe, feeling that way will allow them to show themselves fully and live a life worth living. Therefore, your felt sense of security will be the foundation on which almost everything else rests.

another experience

On the other hand, when someone does not have a sense of security, they are unlikely to be able to fully embrace life or have a life worth living. The foundation on which every other part of your life would be built simply won’t be in place.

In other words, since the first element will not be in its place, the rest of the elements will not be in its place. And, even if they have built a life, it is unlikely that everyone will agree with it or that it will be a life that reflects who they really are.

a part

However, as long as one lives in this way, it does not mean that one will realize that one does not feel safe. Instead, what is happening may simply be something they are used to.

As a result of this, it will cause them problems, but there will be no reason for them to do anything about it. As far as they are concerned, you can see what life is like and what they have to put up with.

Step back

For their life to change, they will have to be able to take a step back from what is happening. From here, they will be able to find a way to change their life so that they can develop a sense of security.

However, until this happens, they will continue to live a life that will not bring them much joy. It could be a lonely existence that feels like a curse or it could be an existence where they can experience ‘positive’ feelings from time to time by pleasing others.

groundhog day

When they are around others, they can lose touch with how they feel and end up playing a role. The reason they may lose touch with how they feel is that they won’t feel safe enough to be in their body.

This is likely something that just happens rather than something they consciously choose to do. As for playing a role, this will be a way of trying to gain the approval of others.

outsourced

Being in his body will be seen as too great a risk; while being outside their bodies will be seen as the way to survive. What this boils down to is that if they were to inhabit your body, it would be much harder for them to detect and avoid a threat.

Again, this is unlikely to be something they are aware of or choose to do. Their need to play a role or series of roles that allows them to please others is because they see other people as being in control of their own survival.

the alternative

If you were to settle into your body and allow your life to be an expression of your true self (your feelings, values, and intuition, for example) or your whole being and not just the part of your being that relates to your survival, it is likely that they experience a lot of fear and anxiety, and even terror. Living on the surface of yourselves and doing what you can to please others will be a way of staying together.

Still, while this will allow you to keep your inner world in check, there may be times when this is not the case. Like jam spread on toast, anxiety could spread over your life, making it difficult for you to feel comfortable.

a life of isolation

Another part of this is that they may have a strong need to spend a lot of time away from others. This will prevent them from meeting some of their needs, but it will allow them to settle down.

Because of how strong this need is, they may not even think about most of their other needs when they’re alone. This can also be a way for them to recharge, as being around others could make them feel more unregulated than regulated.

What’s going on?

It may seem strange why someone would not feel safe and would need to spend most of their life in a disembodied state and a lot of time alone. The main problem is that they do not have a sense of security and this can show that they had a deeply traumatic childhood.

During their early years, they may have been abused and/or neglected on a weekly, if not daily basis. A time when they needed love, care and protection to grow and develop would have been a time when they were pushed to their limits and all their resources were used to keep them alive.

Awareness

Another way to get an idea of ​​what it was like for them would be for someone to imagine that one’s initial environment was like a war zone. The difference is that, unlike a soldier, they were helpless, extremely vulnerable and underdeveloped, and therefore totally unarmed to handle what was happening.
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If one can relate to this and is ready to change their life, they may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.