As the mother of a 22-year-old, I am at that stage in my life where some styles are no longer attractive or appropriate. My two biggest fears are looking like my mother and looking like my daughter.

Mature and stylish women follow the main trends without losing their own style. As we move forward, we have to redefine what constitutes an updated look and put old-fashioned ideas aside, but there is a fine line between looking current and looking like a fashion victim. Everyone has a different idea of ​​scruffy. As with most things in my life, I find out what is right for me by eliminating what is wrong. These are on my “no-no” list:

• Wearing the pants too short, this is a killer look that I see often. The modern way of wearing pants is very long, almost brushing or brushing the floor.
• Wearing tops and blouses inside, I have a hard time resisting this one because I love my belts! Stretch-free tailored shirts and (layered) T-shirts look modern. If you choose to tuck in and wear a belt, don’t go the old-fashioned way: mom jeans that sit at the waist and taper at the ankle with a 1 ″ belt. Pants that rest 1 “below the waist are flattering for most of us and a wider belt (about 2”) will slim down.
• Dressing too much “to match” – this is hard for women of my generation because when we were growing up, the perfect outfit was a plaid skirt picked off a coat rack with matching sweaters and topped with matching Papagallo shoes and bag. It is not so easy anymore. Women who still subscribe to this method of dressing wear a head-to-toe designer “look”. BORED! It takes a bit of creativity, but you basically want to mix palettes and textures. Look at the color combinations in magazines and stores to keep up to date. You may see color combinations you never thought “go” together and look modern and stylish. Even the simplest outfit can look great by mixing textures; Think knotty wool with velvet or linen with silk. If this is very uncomfortable territory for you, wear suits, but update them with shoes and blouses.
• Wearing sleeveless tops and dresses without the benefit of regular exercise, when I attended my daughter’s high school graduation on a sweltering June day, I saw loads of flabby arms; I was thanking my Total Gym! I don’t mean to say you have to exercise, but if you’re not blessed with toned arms, wear short or long sleeves.
• Trying to look too neat, if your clothes are sophisticated and impeccable, tone down the hair and makeup, that’s a modern look. And in a similar vein …
• Wearing too much makeup – This is particularly important as we age. Choose a polished look in neutral colors for the day and bump up a bit with color or a heavier application at night.
• I wear very little makeup, I’m not going anywhere without mascara, blush, and lip gloss at the very least. Most days I add taupe eyeshadow and dark brown eyeliner and a little brow tamer. It takes 5 minutes and it makes a big difference!
• Looking totally unkempt, when I see women at the mall in sweatshirts or shorts and a baggy T-shirt, I wonder why they are shopping if this is how they leave the house. Even when you’re only wearing jeans, you can still look together by paying attention to your shoes and other accessories. Or, throw a jacket over just about anything and look instantly groomed.
• Buying a “special” dress for special occasions, of course there are some functions, for example, if you are the mother of the bride, when you have to buy a special dress. But for most semi-formal occasions it is more elegant to collect a wardrobe of elegant separate pieces: silk pants, blouses and skirts, velvet skirts and jackets, elegant cashmere sweaters, embellished jackets, and perhaps a mix-and-match tux. It also makes more sense if you don’t dress often because you can update your pieces one at a time.
• Old-fashioned glasses are a fashion accessory, and if you have to wear them, you can keep them up to date as well. It is worth the money when you consider the cost per use!
• Wearing too many “jewelry” -I don’t like jewelry, I prefer to have some pieces that reflect my personality and that I will love forever. Make one thing your focal point, if you wear too many pieces it is distracting
• Wear unflattering silhouettes: Certain clothes are not good for some body types. No one can escape this, even what we consider a model body cannot use all styles. Sometimes it is easier for a good friend to point out what is not working for you; it is very difficult to see yourself without prejudice. If you’re going to put the time and effort into wearing nice clothes, be a good editor and steer clear of what doesn’t work for you. This has nothing to do with size!
• Wearing “cheap” clothes: When I shop with my daughters at stores like H&M and Forever 21, I am tempted by the price tags, but cheap clothes look very bad on mature women. Again, I’d rather have 10 things that I love than 30 things that are regular.
• College Hair: If you still wear your hair like you did when you were 19 and over 40, it’s time for a change. And if you got the cut of the moment, the “Dorothy Hamill,” the “Rachel,” and you still have it, it’s time for a change. Trendy haircuts are just that, they are bound to be constantly updated.
• Ladies Suits and Little Earrings: I know that when women see this look with the “new” Chanel style suits and dresses they think of, this is a look that I can relate to. The thing is, this is a look for young women, it seems modern to them. As they say, if you used it the first time, think carefully about using it again. Simple, structured outfits with a lean toward the avant-garde look much more stylish for those over 40.

I find that when I follow these guidelines, my options are narrowed down, making it easy to create ageless and elegant outfits.