the quiet years

I first realized that I was losing my hearing about 10, maybe 14 years ago. It started in a course where I found I couldn’t hear the tutor at the front of the room. Okay, I was at least 15 feet away from her, but still, a couple of years ago it hadn’t been a problem.

As time went on I realized that any situation I found myself in in a room or auditorium was something between difficult and lost for me, but not all situations. There were some TV shows I couldn’t listen to, some people I had to ask to keep repeating, but they didn’t significantly affect my life. It wasn’t until I started answering the wrong questions and found myself getting frustrated and rolling my eyes that I really realized how much I was struggling.

The fact is that you don’t realize how badly your hearing is getting worse for a number of very good reasons, one of which is that there is a significant difference in hearing when you are relaxed and stressed or tense. I did an event and couldn’t hear anyone from the stage trying to ask me questions, however, in bed that night, my partner turned around and lowered his voice, saying I answered everything they said. It was confusing, did he have a hearing problem or not? When faced with an expense of thousands of dollars, that’s a question you Really needs the correct answer to.

My first listening test did not give the correct answer. They told me I was missing up to 25% of my hearing in both ears and to go away for 3 years to see how it goes. Which was great, but I was still fighting, and people were fighting me!

I eventually went for 3 more tests with different people. The first of them gave a completely different result, the second mostly agreed, and it was already almost Christmas, so I waited for the January sales. I had to have another hearing test, but it was very similar, so I felt comfortable moving forward.

coping with aging

For a long time it really hurt that I was getting older, my hearing problem is age related, and I couldn’t face the thought of admitting it by getting hearing aids, but as things got worse I realized that my lack of Coping with that it made me look stupid and also resulted in isolation: I preferred not to go out to see people. I also thought I was losing my memory, just to put the tin lid on it!

When I made the decision to get support, I asked around, and one thing other people told me very firmly was: don’t waste your money by going cheap. Exactly as my mother used to say, and my grandmother before her, if you spend very little money you will end up hearing everything, all at once! You won’t be able to hear the person next to you, but you will hear plates crashing in a restaurant kitchen, snippets of conversation from everywhere, sniffing, coughing, knives scraping plates. Apparently it’s overwhelming.

Plus, tailor your hearing aids to your lifestyle. I’m a professional speaker so I need to be able to hear in an auditorium, so it was well worth spending £3000 (on two hearing aids). I can have a microphone attached to my shirt and pass a small microphone around a room, if the person speaks into that microphone, it transmits into mine, then into my headphones, so I hear in my ears and not across the room. Apparently college readers use them.

The hearing center set them up for me, and now I come back once a fortnight to refine the sound until it’s perfect for me. I can raise or lower them, focus on one person or the whole room. They bluetooth to my phone, my computer, my car and they have a TV adapter that they can plug into and apparently you manage to hear the TV better than anyone in the room as they balance the sound just right and the sound effects don’t weigh more than the voice!

They have a microphone, so as long as I’m in range, a tap behind my ear answers, and a 2-second hold ends the call. No more useless yelling at my phone “wait I’m just trying to get my phone out of my bag”, one touch and I’m apparently walking through a mall talking to myself. It is quite wonderful.

A whole new kind of youth

I feel 20 years younger than a month ago. My hearing aids are hidden behind my ears – you can’t have in-ear hearing aids if you have tinnitus as it makes it worse, and you’ll never know they’re there. For me that helps.

Turns out my memory is fine as long as I can hear what is being said. I did the third part of a course that I am studying and I came home completely sure that I knew what I was doing. I hadn’t realized how much I had missed, and the ability to ask for clarification here and there had changed the landscape of how much knowledge came and stayed!

I’m having smooth conversations, I’m laughing because I heard the joke and the world has opened up for me again. I stayed in the garden for at least half an hour listening to the birds singing. I have discovered that one of my cats loves to chat with me. I don’t miss the doorbell. I hear children laughing and playing. I have always loved the sound of hail and rain, and I can hear them again. It is quite wonderful.

It has also brought much-needed humor into my life. When I went to meet my husband after the braces were placed, I asked him what he had been doing and he replied, “Sorry, did I miss that?” People around us were looking at me trying to figure out why I was so funny. He constantly asks me if we can make the TV buzz a bit, and now I’m like “why, what’s wrong with it? Can I hear it?” It was also nice to crack the joke when asked if it was good to be able to listen again “only when people are interesting”. They had laughed at me for so long that this friendly joke seemed leveling to me. I got my power back!

Trust me

As a lovely friend told me, “It’s wonderful to see you got your life back,” and that’s exactly what it is. Sound, laughter, all the dialogue from the movies instead of wondering what just happened, music, ringtones, phones, stress-free conversations. I hadn’t realized how much my hearing loss had affected my confidence until I got these two little miracles.

My husband was talking about my headphones the other day, and I said “excuse me, these aren’t just headphones, I’m a technological marvel and fully Bluetooth compatible!” This is how it feels. I’m watching other people fight like I did in different ways, and I don’t feel old, I feel blessed.

I turn them on to recharge overnight, they don’t need new batteries more than once every 4 years, they don’t overcharge. Another benefit of paying more if possible. They can be tweaked infinitely, only if something much, much better comes out, will I have to consider changing them…sometime!

If you can’t afford bluetooth headphones, save if you can, you won’t regret it. All my friends who thought ‘what the hell will cheap do’ have repented. There are even better ones than mine on the market, but they are very expensive! Apparently you can go up to £7000!

Children are born with hearing loss!

So if you feel like I do that the whole idea is embarrassing, aging, terrifying, and the start of a slow slide to the grave, think again! These little wonders will give you 20 years back! No one needs to know that you are wearing them, and always remember that children are born with hearing loss, so we are very lucky to have had our own hearing for many years and that the technology exists to support us when we need it. it’s!