The best place to observe the wide range of parenting styles is in any grocery store between the hours of 4:00 and 7:00 PM. Here you will hear a mother yelling at her crying child, a father threatening to take away a privilege from his nine-year-old son, another mother bribing her children with sweets if their children cooperate so they can finish their homework. quickly, and finally, another parent grabs his preteen by the jacket as he walks or drags his son out of the store.

Do you want to improve your family life and discipline methods, even when faced with everyday family dangers? Try to implement these two strategies based on how the brain works and human biology.

1. Eat, drink and breathe deeply.

The second worst time of the day for all families is at night, when everyone is transitioning and switching gears from the busy day to evening time. For most people, children and parents alike, this is physiological when the body is tired and needs more energy through nutrition and oxygen. Too often, parents choose this time to run necessary errands, including grocery shopping. But neither children nor adults have the necessary physiological stamina to handle this seemingly mundane task.

What is the solution? Before going to the store, she eats a sandwich, sings a song and dances a jig. Are you afraid of feeling foolish by engaging in such foolish and childish behavior? Then she drinks a cup of herbal tea while her children drink a glass of milk and everyone enjoys some raisins and peanuts. Then do ten jumping jacks or play tag or musical chairs. If this doesn’t seem like your style either, come up with your own ritual. Just be sure to include drinking and eating a modest amount of nutritious food (excess sugar will only add to physiological drag) and do a moderate amount of deep breathing. With children, the best way to get them to breathe deeply is to play an active game for a short time. They will gladly participate! And if you can relax a bit and play a game, you’ll not only improve your oxygen level, but also inspire a lighter spirit.

Now you and your children are ready to face the challenge known as grocery shopping.

2. Choose an open position for growth and learning.

What you do and say puts your child in an open position for learning and growth, or for protection. New research on the human cell has revealed that a cell can only be in one of two positions: protection or growth. And since the brain is a system of cooperative cells, the brain is then only in a position of protection or growth.

Have you ever wondered why you must continually make the same type of correction for your child’s repeated misbehavior? Are you tired of threatening or punishing your child, only to find out that he has to repeat the same process many, many times? The reason is that you are using strategies that protect your child instead of asking him to grow and learn. The son perceives her scolding, threatening, or punishing her as something she must protect herself from. He is not in the frame of mind to be open to learning and growing. Instead, he is protecting himself from you. This can be shocking to learn. The last thing you want is for your child to feel like he has to protect himself from you! In many parenting situations, when you scold, threaten, or shame your child, you aren’t even thinking about anything other than trying to get your child to do what you want him to do. But his mindless behavior is perceived differently by his son. On a cellular level, your son believes that he should be protected. He may agree to your request, but he hasn’t learned anything. Your mind is in no condition to learn, grow and change. Your mind just goes into protection. With this new information, you may be less surprised to have to repeat the same correction, or threat, or punishment, over and over again. Your child’s brain is not in a learning state of mind.

What is the solution? Stop doing the kinds of things your child perceives as threatening. Make a simple request for what you want your child to do, instead of trying to get your child to stop doing what you don’t want. “Please sit.” “Use your inner voice, please.” “Take my hand and walk with me please.” Can you see how each of these requests keeps a child in an open position for growth and learning instead of “No Foot”. “Stop yelling and yelling.” “Do not run.” It is equally important to use a neutral, calm, and friendly tone of voice. How you speak to your child is just as important as what she says. Staying calm, friendly, and engaged with your child, even during nonverbal moments, will keep both of you in a growing, open state, rather than having to withdraw into a protective state.

Now that you’re their child, you’re ready to take on any challenge you encounter at the grocery store and beyond.