There is a clear difference between what can fit in a stocking and what ought be put in one. Here are some tips on what not to put in your stockings this year.

10. Fish: fresh or frozen is a bad idea.

9. 1040EZ Forms: No one wants to be reminded of upcoming tax season at Christmas. What if the recipient wanted to detail?

8. Coal – The original bad gift. However, it’s important to note that if your recipient is the survivor type, he or she might appreciate your consideration regarding energy sources for the impending nuclear apocalypse/outbreak/ice age.

7. Pudding – Imagine, reaching into your stocking on Christmas morning, only to pull out a hand full of pudding.

6. Do-It-Yourself Living Will Kit: Just pull the plug on this gift idea. Actually, it’s more of a Valentine’s Day gift.

5. Generic Sugar Free Chocolates: This treat is the ultimate in insulting efficiency. He manages to say “You’re fat” and “You’re not good enough for expensive things” all in one little box.

4. Personal Shaver: The conversation afterward can never end well. They call it a “personal” razor for a reason.

3. Beano: Actually, here’s a good rule of thumb: If it’s coming from the pharmaceutical aisle, just say no.

2. Massage Oil: Christmas scent or not, this is one gift that sends the wrong message. Maybe Grandma NEEDS to relax. That doesn’t mean anyone wants to conjure up a mental image of her and Grandpa relaxing with massage oil.

1. Teat & Udder Balm: If it can soften a cow’s udders, it should work wonders on Aunt Millicent’s hands, right? Mistaken. Leave this one at the farm.