Many parents feel compelled to fill the void when their children say, “I’m bored.” Whether playing with their child, setting up a play date or finding an electronic solution, parents rush in without realizing that boredom is a gift, an opportunity for our child to develop skills that will help him leave the nest and carry a full and satisfying life.

Part of becoming a successful adult is the ability to solve problems and live life creatively. When your child says, “I’m bored,” what he’s really telling you is that right now I have no idea how to creatively fill my time. Not only is your child’s boredom not a crisis that you need to solve, but it is a great opportunity for your child to create something out of that feeling of boredom that satisfies him and helps him develop and mature.

What we do as parents in response to “I’m bored” is critical. If we constantly provide stimulation by turning on the television or video games, or try to find someone to do something with him, our child will not learn to occupy his time creatively. That can translate to a young adult who is always looking for external motivation and stimulation. Think of the man-boys you know who have failed to pitch and are living in their parents’ basement. When your child says, “I’m bored,” you have a golden opportunity to teach him skills that will ensure that he has room in the basement for guests in the future.

When your child is bored, it is a gift. Not only is the opportunity to feel bored occasionally a gift, boredom is an increasingly rare gift! Many children are so programmed and overstimulated that they don’t have moments in their bedroom feeling fidgety and wondering what to do. Instead they are hooked up to something electronic, doing homework or running to school or other activities. For full maturation, your child needs free time to explore his indoor and outdoor landscape. If your child says he’s bored sometimes, celebrate! That means you have created space in his life for him to grow and develop, and you will reap the rewards later if you handle the situation correctly!

Boredom is an opportunity for your child to grow up and discover more about himself and his world. Your role is that of a coach. Of course, you can brainstorm with him what to do. You also want to have plenty of stimulating materials regardless of age for creative play. For my 9-year-old daughter the other day that meant postcards and gel pens that she took out to send family notes to my mom, my grandmother, and my sister. For my 11-year-old, that includes Lego and K’Nex, which he extracts from time to time, and pencil and paper for drawing and scribbling. They are both voracious readers, which avoids many potential boredom moments.

Boredom is a blank canvas, an opportunity to create and define yourself. Whether it’s boredom for you or your child, don’t be too quick to cover up the feeling. Instead, ask yourself or your child what would be fun or interesting to do. See if there’s a project you’ve always wanted to do or a game you’d like to play (non-electronic is preferred unless you or your child are one of the few who don’t spend much time on electronic media). Board games require more interaction that teaches them valuable social skills while building fun memories. If you find a creative way for your child or yourself to fill the boredom, you will emerge more alive and satisfied than if you simply find some way to pass the time.

So the next time your child says, “I’m bored,” you can say, “Great! What do you want to do about it?” Then sit back and let your child take the kidneys, with a little guidance, and you’ve done everything you can to help him mature, while guarding against the dreaded miss-throw syndrome!