Paul was obsessed with his wife Christy even after 12 years of marriage. He would watch over her if she went out grocery shopping, visited her parents, met her friends, and even when she went out to see a doctor. The fixation with her wife and everything she did grew with each passing year and Christy began to suffocate under Paul’s anguished obsession. Paul had even stopped traveling due to work commitments so he could be with his wife as much as possible. Fortunately, Paul was cooperative when Christy convinced him to seek help. His psychiatrist diagnosed him with adult separation anxiety (ASA).

Sometimes childhood separation anxiety continues into adulthood or may develop into adulthood due to past abuse or neglect. ASA can be so overwhelming that a person may have a panic attack when a loved one moves away. At other times, when the disease is not so intimidating, there may be other subtle symptoms, such as:

Jealousy – Extreme jealousy manifests itself in people when they fear losing control over a loved one. They trust less, harbor unreasonable doubts and worries, and may also fear infidelity.

strict parenting – Also known as reverse separation anxiety, parents can be so worried that their child will one day leave them that they start to control the child’s life. The parents become extremely strict and protective as they constantly fear living alone if the child leaves them.

frustrating relationships – Sometimes, despite knowing that a person or a relationship can be bad for physical or mental health, people stagnate. They are afraid to leave as they are constantly anxious for something to go wrong.

wandering – When adult children do not leave their parents’ house or when a friend visits them but does not seem to leave, it is known as mooching.

Ways to Manage ASA

To understand the problem, one must take a close look at the symptoms of separation anxiety in a person, which can be excessive worry about losing things, unexplained attachment to other people, and sleep disturbances. In the absence of a sufficient diagnostic evaluation for ASA, its treatment is not clinically defined. However, it is possible to control the symptoms and gradually overcome insurmountable anxiety.

• Join support groups – Joining support groups can be a big help as they offer a platform to connect with people who are in the same boat. Talking and sharing experiences can be very therapeutic and liberating in the long run.
• Practicing relaxation techniques. – It is important to calm the anxious mind and feel relaxed. Yoga, meditation and mindfulness techniques are immensely beneficial. One should try to do activities that you like to distract unjustified fears. Walking a pet, taking a walk in a garden, enjoying dinner with friends, cooking or reading an inspiring book are some of the ways to keep yourself busy and mentally satisfied.
• to write a diary – Whenever you feel anxious, you should write about those feelings in a journal. Writing can help identify feelings and deal with them when they come up the next time. It is also a great opportunity to gauge one’s response to one’s troubling thoughts and make efforts to reframe them in a positive way.
• taking professional help – Any anxiety disorder can interfere with daily activities and impede personal and professional growth. It also affects relationships and people may not want to associate with someone who is overly possessive. To prevent symptoms from getting worse, it is important to get professional support.

ASA recovery is possible

If ASA is not treated in time, one can become obsessed and fall into other negative behaviors. But anxiety can be treated with medication, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and other therapies such as art therapy or dance movement.