We live in a different age. Who could have ever predicted that we would have a global pandemic that, sadly, would result in the loss of many lives, the loss of jobs, and the obligation to stay home? Also, having to wear a mask. But that is our new reality. As the world opens up, what will the new normal be? Many people are telecommuting and many companies are doing everything virtually. Makes you think of life before Corona. Before the Corona era, many people said they didn’t have time to go out. They didn’t have time to do the things they wanted to do. Time was one of the problems. Now that we’ve stayed home, many people have the time they said they didn’t have. While this is a difficult time for everyone, it can be used for self-reflection. I lost my aunt who was only 40 years old just before her birthday in February. She was more like my sister when we grew up together. He used to call me his protégé. Suffering a loss and grieving during a time like this is quite devastating and difficult. Nonetheless, I asked my aunt for strength and chose to use the pain for a greater purpose and honor her by not giving up on my goals and dreams. So it’s a day-to-day process. Grief is a process.

As I thought about our new reality and my fellow Queens, I wondered how many of us are using this time to do some of the things we put on the back burner. Those things can be as simple as painting, drawing, gardening, adult coloring. I am aware that this is a difficult time for everyone. However, how are you going to get out of it? What will be different? I have heard some people say that it is okay to do absolutely nothing. I agree with that to the extent that you should definitely have your “me” time. You sure have to be compassionate to yourself at times like these. This is hard for everyone. However, I do not agree that someone does absolutely nothing every day during these times for the next year or possibly even two years as the world tries to move forward. That’s not what I would say to my girls. That inaction or inactivity is what can lead to unhealthy thoughts and / or depression. Also, nothing can change in your life if you do absolutely nothing. I’ve had days where I wasn’t that motivated and just laid back on the couch. Yes, I am also human like you. But I also know that my dreams and goals need me. Faith without works is dead. So regardless of what is happening, I will have to compose myself.

Even before COVID-19, women have always placed their needs last on the list. Women have always done a lot for others before thinking of themselves. This is how society has conditioned women; Givers, caregivers, caregivers with a mindset that everyone comes before you. That last part is not true. Everyone does NOT come before you. It’s no wonder so many women feel dissatisfied, unhappy, in the wrong relationships, adjust, etc. So now that we’ve been forced to stay home, this has opened up a lot of “time” for some of us, to tell the truth. We can choose to do the same and continue to get the same results or we can choose do something different. What will your post-Corona story be? I suggest you use this time to come to your senses, ladies. Prioritize your needs and wants during this time. Put yourself first. Take the first step. Your goals matter, your dreams matter, your happiness matters, YOU matter. This world would not be the same without women. Therefore, the world would not be the same without YOU. As you take the time to reflect on your life before the Crown and where you want to be after the Crown (which may be a year or two from now), here are some things to think about:

Clarity. You know what you want? Hopefully, you will have or take some of this time off to reflect on your true wishes. I even suggest you write it down. Only 5% of society has their goals written down on paper and that 5% earn more than the other 95% combined. Are you happy in your life? If not, what is happiness like for you? What are your career goals? Do you have the relationship you envisioned? Whatever you want, you deserve it. Not what someone else has told you to want, but what YOU really want. It is difficult for God or your higher power (whatever you call that source) to help you if you are not clear about what you want and you go through life aimlessly. Think of a GPS system. You have to write an address to take you to your destination. You have to know where you want to go, so be clear about what you want.

Apologies. We all apologize. I did them too. It is not about perfection. However, at some point, you just have to be honest and real with yourself. In Peter Voogd’s book From 6 Months to 6 Figures, he states that “One of the most important ways to develop your self-esteem is to do what you say you are going to do. Every time you say you are going to do something and don’t do it, your confidence decreases. ” How much do you want to change? I heard people say that they are busy. “I’m so busy.” Okay. Well, what are the tangible results of all that hustle and bustle? If you’re busy watching soap operas all day or playing video games when you say you want to start your business, for example, that’s not the same as being productive. Saying you’re busy sounds good, it might make you feel good to say it, but actuallyWhen in reality you are not accomplishing anything and have nothing to show for it, ‘being busy’ is just an excuse. You can have excuses or you can have results.

Association Law. Who do you spend the most time with? Something a mentor told me years ago was that people like people who are like them. It’s like saying ‘birds of the same plumage fly together’. Bad girls hang out with other bad girls. Who you hang out with has an effect on you. If you have a victim mentality and do not take responsibility for anything, then you will not be aligned with someone who has it, who has an overcomer mentality. Are the people around you pulling you up or down or causing you to get stuck? Just because they’re your friends from high school doesn’t mean they’re right for you at this stage in your life. Think about whether your values ​​and goals align or not. Sometimes you outgrow your boy and girl friends and that’s okay. You shouldn’t feel guilty. Some people don’t want you to move on. Misery loves company. In the words of Dan Peña … show me your friends and I will show you your future. It’s that easy.

Character. Who you are will follow you wherever you go. You are the common denominator. Society, unfortunately, has made women think that they have to compete with other women. If it’s in you to always be jealous and envious of other women, that will show up wherever you go because it’s part of who you are. If it’s up to you to be manipulative and petty, that will follow you wherever you go. You can’t hide who you really are for so long. You are who you choose to be. We are all perfectly imperfect beautiful creations of God. However, we all have problems. We all have things that we can also improve. I believe that there is something greater than us that knows the truth. And the truth of who you are. You know what they say … the truth will come out. Think about who you claim to be and what your actions really reveal. Are they congruent? Character goes a long way.