There was a popular song that came out in 1986 that was recorded by Janet Jackson under the title “What have you done for me lately?” Just sit back and let that title sink in for a minute. It could conjure up all sorts of thoughts… Is the writer saying that he feels abandoned because nobody does anything for “them”… or is he being selfish and demanding and wishes more and more would be done for THEM? ? Just trying to figure it out could take all day, but let’s take a different route.

Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to please and do for other people that we put ourselves, our needs, and our wants on the back burner. That’s in our DNA, right? We instinctively try to think of others first and ourselves somewhere around… let’s say “LAST!” Is this healthy? is this automatic? Is this what we feel we must do because we have always done it that way?

No – Yes – No. Somewhere, we need to spend a little time, effort and planning for US! If you’ve ever seen the movie where the girl had low self-esteem and heard her very good friend say over and over, “You’re kind, you’re smart, you’re important,” then you know what everyone needs to hear.

How many people are we trying to please? Two? Fifteen? Eighty-five? No matter what number we come up with, our number must be somewhere at the beginning. Taking care of ourselves should also be as thorough as caring for and trying to please others. Every day we need to satisfy and nurture our need for exercise and excitement; for rest and relaxation; for challenge and communication; for a bit of fun, silliness and pampering. Without these, we can sink into the routine of the ordinary, simple and boring. Who wants a friend like that?

We are kind! We are intelligent! We are important! Also, we must never, ever forget it! Just as the flight attendant always insists that we “take the oxygen first”, we must apply that to other aspects and areas of our lives. Most of the people we interact with and care about need us to be able to smile, joke around, paste a crazy emoji at the end of our text, and most importantly laugh at ourselves and others.

That, my friends, is Friendship! We need to not only be a good caring friend to others, but we need to make friends and take care of ourselves first! Take the oxygen first!!!