A relationship can be demanding enough on its own, but factor in long distance and it can sometimes become downright unbearable. If you’re a woman looking to end a long-distance relationship, no matter what your reasons, one thing you want to avoid is hurting him more than necessary. Here’s how to end it without breaking your heart.

Talk: Talk to him and tell him about the problems you’re having with the relationship, rather than just dumping him out of the blue. Tell him your reasons because he deserves to know, and make sure he knows you’re determined and there’s no going back, so he doesn’t cling to a non-existent hope. Have a civil conversation, try not to yell or blame him, and be patient even if he gets hysterical. In short, drop it easily.

Be kind: Breakups can be paralyzing for some people, leaving them with doubts or hang-ups that hold them back for the rest of their lives. Remember, you were with him once, you must have had some good times, and for that alone, make sure you leave him whole and emotionally stable. Let him know that he is a nice guy and that you had a good time with him. Remember it with him and let him know that one day he will find someone who is a better fit for him.

Be there for him: Once you break up with him, you’ll need a shoulder to lean on. And since he’s been around you and is used to leaning on you, that shoulder is most likely yours. It can be difficult, but be there for him until he gets over the initial shock. Talk to him for as long as you need and explain your reasons when you want answers. You can’t be there to comfort him physically, so make up for it emotionally.

Give it closure: One thing that stops most people from moving on after a breakup is a lack of closure. You have to snub any hopes he has of ever getting back together, so he can let go and move on. But you have to do this nicely. Unless he took it well and wants you to be friends, enable the no contact policy once you’re done and comforted. Don’t text or call him just because you need him sometimes, as this can give him unnecessary hope and prevent him from moving on with his life.