A birthday party is fun. But it can be an overwhelming experience for a shy child, especially if he or she is the guest of honor. Here are ten tips to make the celebration easy, comfortable, and wonderful for your child.

1. Involve him in all aspects of the party planning. When the birthday boy or girl helps plan all the details of the celebration, they feel in control. He will feel comfortable in this situation, because he helped create it.

2. Have the party at home. No matter how tempting an outdoor setting may be, a shy child will feel more secure at home. He will be confident in the comfort of familiar surroundings and will not feel out of place. And, if at any point he feels too anxious, he can withdraw to a safe place for a minute, until he regains his composure.

3. Keep the guest list small. Even fully mature adults can sometimes be intimidated by large crowds. A house full of active and noisy children can make a quiet child anxious. Keep the group to a manageable size.

4. Invite the right kids. This is not the time to include newcomers, hoping to widen your circle of friends. Stick with those who are already in your comfort zone, like best friends, siblings, cousins, and kids you play with in the neighborhood. You will feel comfortable with that group and it will give you more confidence.

5. Limit the length of the party. In this case, less is more. Plan plenty of time for games, cakes, and fun. But don’t overdo it. If the festivities go on too long and the activities run out, the guests will be restless. They will still want to be entertained and your child may not know how to handle them.

6. Include the correct games. Look for non-competitive activities that everyone can do. Have the children work on a craft that relates to the theme of the party. Choose gentle games that don’t require a lot of skill and reward each participant with a prize. A scavenger hunt can be a good idea, if you assign each of the children a different color and allow them to search for their own color-coded reward.

7. Make a plan to blow out the candles. Some shy children feel extremely self-conscious when everyone is looking at them and singing happy birthday. They may panic when they are expected to blow out those candles. If your child feels this way, try to be more discreet. You could push the cake table against the wall, place your child in front of the cake, with the rest of the guests behind him when they sing. Another solution is to have everyone sing very fast. Provide a large candle made in the shape of the number of the year you are celebrating. It is easier to blow out a single figure-of-seven candle than seven individual candles.

8. Wait until after the party to open presents. If you open your gifts during the celebration, you will be the center of attention. Your guests will be watching to see what you get and their reaction. This can be overwhelming for a shy child. Put this off until later, when the guests have gone home and he is relaxed. Then you can unwrap the packages. Don’t forget to take a photo of him playing, wearing, or using the gift to include in the thank you card.

9. Have a helper. Of course, making a birthday party run smoothly is a lot of work. But you don’t want to be so busy and worried that you lose sight of how your shy child is doing. If you have someone there to lend a hand, it will be easier to pay attention to how you are dealing with things. Then, if you notice signs that he’s feeling stressed, you can divert his attention by asking him to do a simple task. He’ll think you just needed him to get that bottle of soda out of the fridge and he won’t realize you distracted him so he’ll calm down.

10. Don’t worry. There is nothing wrong with being shy. Most children outgrow it as their confidence grows. We all have our moments when we feel self-conscious in social situations. Just do your best to make him comfortable, so he can relax and have a good time.

It’s so easy to plan a big birthday party for your shy child. Just follow these steps to reduce potential stress triggers, and watch yourself have a happy celebration.