I often hear from wives who are unsure where to turn after believing that their husband simply does not love them anymore. Sometimes these wives realize this after observing their husband’s behavior. Other times, this comes after a big argument or big problem has arisen. From time to time, it is the husband who makes this statement himself. However, it has happened, the wife has come to the conclusion that she is not loved and often feels very hurt and confused by this.
She might say, “My husband won’t exactly admit that he doesn’t love me anymore, but he doesn’t deny it either. When we first got married, he would run home with me. We didn’t have a lot of money, but we could always have fun just being together. We loved to cook. and sing together. I can’t remember the last time we did that. Now my husband is routinely home late for work and doesn’t have much to say. when he finally comes home. I’ll try to be nice and have a nice evening and while he’s cordial , she doesn’t relate to me like she used to. Last week, my mother had a bit of a health scare. She fell and got hurt a lot, so I felt like it was necessary to go spend a few days with her and handle some safety issues at his home. Previously, my husband always accompanied me on these kinds of trips. We were always in this together. Last night, he told me that he was too busy and that he would not go with me. When I got sad about this, no old him what and I felt that he no longer loved me. He kind of laughed at me and didn’t respond to my concern. When I think back and review the last two years, I can see many other incidents like this, where his behavior might have been comforting and loving, but it was not. I guess I didn’t want to see it at the time. Some of my friends say I’m getting too much of this, but I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure my husband doesn’t love me anymore and I don’t know how to deal with this. I don’t want to get divorced. I don’t want to lose my marriage. But how can you have a loveless marriage? “
Understand where you are now and where you could be in the future: I understand your preocupation. There was a time in my own marriage when I felt my husband’s love fade. I didn’t want to face reality, so I looked away and hoped things would improve. They did not. We separated. So I would never encourage you to ignore this or not address it. You should always address what makes you uncomfortable and uncomfortable about your marriage. That said, I am almost certain that before and during my own separation, my husband truly believed that he no longer loved me. I’m also pretty sure he believed that love would never return.
And yet here it is years later, and we are still married today. And since we have made great changes and improvements in our marriage, I feel extremely loved and valued. The way they treat me today is very different from the way they treated me then. (And my husband would probably say the same). But it took a lot of effort to go from that day to this. The point I am trying to make is that even if you are right and your husband thinks he does not love you, it is possible to change that.
I firmly believe that we all tend to be heavily influenced by the circumstances and situations around us. If our marriage gets a little tired and we don’t see a quick and immediate solution, we run the risk of believing that we no longer love our spouse the way we used to. Ours is an instant gratification society filled with “perfect” social media images that just aren’t real. So there is a real tendency to throw something away or make big changes when things no longer seem perfect. We convince ourselves that we are dealing with a lost cause and that our efforts to change things can be a waste of time.
That’s the bad new. Now here’s some good news. The above scenario is not set in stone. My marriage is one example, but I know many others. If you can change the bitter situation and circumstances, you can also change the perception of feelings. Yes, our marriages change over time. The man who used to run home now has countless responsibilities on his shoulders. It may have nothing to do with his wife, but he finds that when he gets home, he doesn’t feel like he used to. This is not his wife’s fault, but sometimes he attributes these feelings to her and withdraws from the marriage. This is unfair, but the only ray of light here is that if both parties can find a way to lighten their load or change the dynamics of home so that home is their safe place to fall, suddenly their feelings for their wife go. to dissapear. it also changes.